September 24, 2015

Guest Post // Love The Here and Now: Tips for a Happy & Healthy Marriage

Tips for a Happy and Healthy Marriage
Hello Dream Big and Buy the Shoes readers! I'm Anne, the blogger behind Love the Here and Now. While Emelia is off celebrating her new marriage I thought it might be nice to share some tips on how to create a healthy and happy marriage.
As readers of Emelia's blog we know that she embraces the mantra of living life and enjoying it fully. A wedding is important as we all know. It is a day that you will share with family and friends and one that you will never forget. Having said that, don't forget that it is one day. Focus on your relationship and you will build a lifetime of happiness. How does one do that? Here are some of my favorite tips on how to maintain a happy and healthy marriage.

Don't Lose Yourself

Stay true to who you are. It's easy to lose yourself as part of a couple. Don't. You bring so much more to the table when you keep your own interests and pursuits. Growing together as a couple is essential but if you lose yourself in the process you put your own happiness, and therefore your marriage at risk.
I firmly believe that having some space is healthy. Spending time doing your hobbies or seeing your friends is good for your marriage. When you become a couple and a family it is easy to lose sight of yourself. Marriage does not mean giving up yourself and your hopes and dreams.


Talk about having kids and raising them early on and if so, how you will parent. Be on the same page. Two totally different parenting styles will cause conflict and resentment.


Know that 50/50 in a marriage doesn't exist. There are days you will give 80% and days where you will give 30%. That's ok. Remember no one is perfect and we all need a break. Be there, willing and able, to pick up the slack when the load your spouse is carrying seems overwhelming. Trust me, you will appreciate it when it is you needing an extra hand.


Don't let your relationship fall to the wayside. It's easy to let jobs, family, and other pressures take over. Make your spouse a priority. Nobody likes to feel like an afterthought. Remember that even though you are married you can still date your spouse. Head out to that favorite restaurant, see that movie, get away for a weekend!


There are struggles in every marriage. Talk through them. I am not one to say end all arguments before bed. Putting a time frame on your emotions isn't always the best thing. It may lead you to say something out of frustration and resentment. I'm a firm believer in sleeping on something. Time gives clarity and and you may feel differently in the morning and more refreshed with a different viewpoint.
Communication is key. Always. Don't assume you know how your spouse is feeling or thinking or how he will react. Everyone wants to feel as if they're opinion matters. Give him the chance to share his two cents. No matter how long you and your spouse have been together communication is key. Never assume that because you have been together for years that you know how he is feeling or what he is thinking. Talking about issues, whether they are big or small, can save you many a headache and heartache in the long run.

Create Your Own Marriage

Break out of the stereotypes and molds. Find ways that work for you and your husband. Don't like cooking but he does? Go ahead and let him. Perhaps you get clean up duty. Everyone can pitch in and lend a hand in some way.


Having a good time together and laughing throughout life is wonderful. Life throws you many curveballs and when you have kids it's easy to get bogged down with the day to day things. Having time with your husband to focus on just the two of you and to enjoy each other's company can help your marriage.

Support and Encouragement

Be each other's biggest cheerleaders. If you are anything like me, self-doubt is a constant companion. Knowing that my husband has faith in me and is supporting me in all of my dreams does wonders for my confidence.

One Last Thing....

The best advice I can give you is to remember what made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place. I still look at my husband and am in awe of the fact that he is mine; that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. A marriage takes work, effort, dedication, love and tears. It takes a commitment to each other and it takes strength to work through the hard times. Your marriage is the best gift you will give each other. Savor it, nurture it, appreciate it, and love each other.
Here's to a lifetime of love and happiness for Chuck, Emelia, and Ethan!

....Anne, what beautiful and honest tips for anyone in a relationship. Next week, the guest posts continue with the fun gals at The Sequin Notebook!

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