April 5, 2019

A Letter To My Mom On Her Birthday...

Happy Birthday Mom. I can't believe you would be 61 today...
Photo by Andreas Weiland on Unsplash

Cancer took you too soon, there's no denying that. There's so many things we could be doing together, but I do know you're always with us in your own way.
Last month I had a dream about you, it was the first one in a LONG time. I saw your face so clearly and felt like I was holding your hand. I woke up a little confused, but drove to work smiling thinking about it. That morning the sky was lit up beautiful shades of pink and purple, I know it was you. Those little moments remind me that you're always watching. I have been thinking of that dream and remembering little pieces of it every day, and it's something for me to hold on to and give me hope until the next time I see you in my dreams.
Last year on your birthday I took Bella to a local chocolate shop to check it out for her 1st birthday party. I wanted to do something to make us all smile on a day I'm normally sad. I know you weren't a huge fan of your birthday, but it made me feel good to enjoy an ice cream cone and see my baby smiling and lighting up the way your face did when you were really happy. The light in her eyes was a gift from you, I tell Bella that often and truly believe it to be true.
Birthday's are so special to me. Not just my own, but the others I love. I love celebrating. It's hard to think about what fun we would be having if you were still here, Mom. I still don't understand why things work the way they do and you were chosen to leave us so soon. I do know that I want to live each day appreciating the gift that waking up to a new day is. I want to be the kind of Mom you were. Smiles fill my face when I think about all the fun we had, and that's how I want my own children to remember me.
So today, on your birthday we will celebrate with you, in our own fun way. I vow to do that every year because rather than be sad, I'll cherish the memories and your spirit.
I hope you're dancing in heaven today- I miss you each and every single day- especially today, the day a beautiful Angel was born.

Happy Birthday Mom.I love you so much. 

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