January 23, 2019

Lessons In Motherhood

Motherhood is a wild thing. It's a crazy ride full of moments filled with the best love you've ever felt and fear of failure and not doing the right thing.
I was thinking recently about things I learned that you don't necessarily hear about. People talk about ways to get your baby to sleep, what stroller is best, and things of that nature but you don't necessarily hear about the more raw things in motherhood. Today I wanted to share some lessons I've learned about the real life everyday things.

Mom Guilt Is Normal- You will feel it at some point, and you can't avoid it. Whether you stay home all day with your child, or go to work outside the home- you'll hear about it and feel things that start to question what you're doing. I love my job and there are days that I drop Bella off in the morning and cry because I don't want to leave her. Pictures throughout the day help. Reminding myself that I love my job and truly feel that I'm doing what is best for my family helps too. We all have those feelings once in a while. Mom guilt is a thing, and it seems to be normal actually.

Accept The Help- I want to do it all. I want to be the one that does everything for Bella from morning to night because I feel that's what I'm here to do as her Mom. I get burnt out and realized that you have to accept the help. Help comes in many different ways- like when we visit with family and someone wants to feed Bella her meal, or when the babysitter tells Chuck and I we need a night out together and offers to come hang with the baby. Take the break and accept the help- it's better for your mindset to get a refresher now and then also.

Give Yourself Grace- This one comes with accepting help. I'm very hard on myself, too hard usually. Motherhood has taught me that I need to give myself grace. Things aren't going to get done. If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would go to bed leaving the living room looking like a hurricane came through I wouldn't believe you. But I've realized that it's not harming anyone or anything to let some things go once in a while. Be easier on yourself, this parenting thing is hard.

Alone Time Is Necessary- Like I mentioned earlier, that Mom guilt happens...but alone time is necessary. Anytime I can take 20 minutes to walk around Target with a hot latte and get some things done, or head to the bedroom to read a few chapters of my latest book or hop on the treadmill I try to take it. You need a break and need to clear your head and focus on self care from time to time. Don't let those breaks you give yourself go on too long without taking them. Step away for a manicure, or heck just to get a nap when the baby is. It is necessary!

You Can Experience Alllll The Emotions In One Day- Some days I will go from overwhelmed to crying with happy tears filling my eyes all within 20 minutes. You can be completely frustrated from figuring out why your baby won't eat or is acting wild to remembering how wonderful being a parent can be. It's okay- it doesn't make you a bad parent if you're mad, sad or overwhelmed. It's normal to experience these emotions, even if it's all in one day.

You Will Never Know All The Answers-You can read all the baby books, blog posts, advice columns and you will still never know all the answers. Go with your gut. That's the biggest thing I have learned. If you think your baby isn't feeling well, they probably aren't. You don't need to know it all, just go with your heart and act on what you think you should. Every baby is different which means there can't be answers for every situation out there.

Give Back When You Can- When you have some free time and feel caught up on everything, give back to a friend. Send over a hot meal to your friend who just had another baby. Offer to take the kids off their hands for a few hours. I think it's important to help your friends just as they helped you in those trying moments. Remember how it feels to enjoy a warm meal or when you found a good nursing bra. I'll never forget texting my friends upset about how hard pumping was and my friend sent me a strapless pumping bra from Amazon two days later. It's nice to have people that care and want to help you out and I think it's great to return the favor.

I definitely don't know all the answers, but learning these things and realizing that you can't do it all has helped me be a better Mom in the long run. 
Thanks for listening, hope you're having a great week!

Post a Comment