October 12, 2016

What Life Is Like When You're Grateful & Scared All At The Same Time

I'll start by saying thank you. Thank you to everyone who has reached out regarding the scary news we received about my husband a few weeks ago. I truly believe that the calls, messages, e-mails, prayers, love and thoughts along with my husband's mental strength have tremendously helped us pull through this time. Anyone who's been around these parts knows that he and my Stepson are my world, and not too long ago our world was shaken up.

I have so many drafts of posts and ideas and great things that I want to talk about here on the blog, but today my mindset isn't quite there with any of those posts. I miss sitting down to write every day while I've been a little absent lately, so I thought I would let you know what's on my mind lately in the midst of being grateful and scared all at the same time.

Chuck suffered from something medically that kept him in the hospital for a while, and while I'm currently writing this he is finally HOME. It's felt like months since we've been home together as a family since right before this happened we were on vacation for our anniversary in Boston. Ethan has been such a trooper through all this and our family and friends have been extremely supportive and helpful. I would not have made it through these past few weeks without all of that help and them.

I'm grateful Chuck is alive and will be okay....but I'm scared for day to day life the next bit of time. It's something we're not used to and I know I get anxious easily. I'm scared my anxiety will hinder his recovery.

I'm grateful Ethan is handling things as best as he can...but I'm scared he's not expressing his true feelings to us. He's a sensitive soul and I just want him to be okay.

I'm grateful for my home and my bed and things like the smell of home. You never realize how much those things mean to you until they're taken away. I kept taking Chuck blankets from home to the hospital so he could have something close to him from our safe place.

I'm grateful for tomorrow...but I'm scared to not know what it brings. I'm such a planner, sometimes to a fault. I have been living off of a planner lately and making sure to write every little thing down, even things like making a phone call or doing something simple like laundry. I'm scared I'm driving myself insane or missing something.

If I can leave you with one thing today, it's to remember to be grateful for something every day. I had a thought last week about life as I laid on my bed for far too long after a shower (tell me I'm not the only one that does that). Sometimes your little things are someone else's big things...the beautiful thing is that we are all given the same ability to dream.
Life can definitely be rough sometimes but don't forget to take a breather and put yourself in a positive place where you can remember what you're grateful for, even if it's something as small as the smell of home.

Again, thank you for your kind comments and sweet thoughts. I appreciate all of your love and friendship so very much.

Dream Big and Stay Grateful.

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