Why Divorce Isn't An Option For Me | Dream Big & Buy The Shoes

July 22, 2015

Why Divorce Isn't An Option For Me

So apparently Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert are divorcing. I've only read 823 tweets & Facebook posts about this very matter. If I had a penny for every single time I've heard about this relationship in the past few days I'd be a millionaire retired living in the Bahamas sipping on margaritas.
I'm not sure what infuriates me more about the subject...the fact that I had to Google why this is a big deal, or the fact that people are so shocked and concerned.



Another celebrity divorce, well well well....that can't be right. Don't get me wrong, I've been known to get excited over celebrity relationships. Nick and Jessica, Justin and Britney, Brad and Jennifer...been there, done that. 
I find it upsetting that people are so torn up about another celebrity breakup. 

Breakups happen every day, and so does divorce. The divorce rate in the United States is 40-50% and seems completely unacceptable to me. I'm a child of divorced parents, and so is my soon to be husband. I know that divorce is the result in relationships for several reasons; I'm not naive. I also refuse to be a statistic.

Let me tell you something, Chuck and I have been through some shit. We've had a few fights that I wasn't sure we would recover from. The thing about love is, you fight for it. I'm not going to act as if my relationship is perfect, because frankly, 8 years later there's a lot that has happened. One of the reasons I continue to love Chuck more each and every day is that we work hard at making our love work. We are constantly learning new things about one another and doing things to show each other compassion and affection.



So tell me why is it such a heightened story when celebrities divorce? Instead of putting all the attention on the fact that it didn't work...why aren't we asking what could have been done to keep them together? I'm not saying that someone should stay with their partner if infidelity is at hand, but I think people are so quick to move on this day and age. Call me old fashioned, but I believe in 'till death do us part. 

I am not hear to say that divorce is wrong, unacceptable or unnecessary. Certain circumstances make divorce a necessary evil which is very unfortunate. I do know that I will continue to give my relationship all I've got because I don't want to experience anything that I have had to as a child of divorce as an adult. 

Divorce is not an option for me. I am glad that Chuck and I dated for so long before we begin this journey of husband and wife. We have learned the ins and outs of what makes US work. We know each other's quirks. We have been by each other's sides to witness some of the worst experiences and hardest battles. We are a team and nothing will ever change that. 

Instead of being so heartbroken that Blake and Miranda are no longer together...let's start commending the couples that live out the vows of marriage, for better or for worse. 


What are your thoughts about divorce these days?


23 comments:

  1. I love this. Good for you, girl.

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  2. This is so great. I feel like our generation needs to make the change. I grew up in a divorced family too. Josh did as well. Both of us have been through hell and back and we want to fight for each other... Not with each other. Love this!!

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  3. You said it best when you said you fight for love! My parents will be married 41 years this September and they are the reason I believe in marriage - you get through it all together! xo, biana - BlovedBoston

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  4. I think it's SO strange too people are so worked up about celebrity relationships. I had thought about doing a post on it but couldn't quite articulate my thoughts. You nailed it!

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  5. Totally agree, people get so worked up over celebrity break-ups/divorces, and it's like do you know these people personally?? I mean yes, it's sad, but any divorce is sad. I think it may partially come from the fact that we look at these people as if they are living out a real-life fairytale that's perfect and magical but the reality is that there's no such thing. Adam and I have said from the beginning, before we got married, that niether of us would ever consider "the D word" as an option in our marriage, because for us it's not. You work it out, isn't that the whole point of marriage and the vows we made to each other?

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  6. Yes, it seems like divorce comes so quick and easy these days. Chuck himself is divorced for reasons I don't want to discuss for his privacy, but he fought to make it work the first time around. I'm glad that I am marrying a man who is so devoted. Props to you and Josh too. XO!

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  7. Thank you Biana. Relationships aren't easy and for that reason I'm so glad to have a partner who works hard with me. What great role models you have, that's amazing!

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  8. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Thanks so much for your comment and reading...I appreciate it!

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  9. Thank you for the great comment Julia. Yes, I love celebrity gossip, but the strong connection people feel to them is kind of weird. Exactly, ANY divorce is sad. Chuck is divorced, and was the one who fought in that relationship even after awful things happened to him. I know that I'm taking the vows of marriage with my perfect match. Props to you and Adam....that's definitely the point of marriage. XO!

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  10. first, I love that you used Vegas pictures :)
    And I totally agree with you -- Robert and I have had fights I never thought we'd recover from either. specifically the last year of absolute hell. BUT that is when you decided/realize how much you really love someone... like this is the moment I could walk away or I could stay, how much do I really love this person? Hard times reveal a lot about a relationship and once you bring marriage into it, I also believe that divorce is not an option. When Robert and I first got together we made a promise that "everything is fixable except cheating". And it's true, all problems can be worked out, disagreements, finances, etc. I didn't realize that you and Chuck have been together for 8 years! I wanna high five you for not rushing into getting married. In Sept, it'll be one year that we've been engaged and everyone is always harassing us about getting married, like why do I need to hurry so much? Like I'm really ok with being engaged for a few years. and it's not because I don't wanna marry him, but weddings are expensive and stressful and it's gonna be the only one so I don't wanna settle just to make it affordable, I want what I want lol. ANYWAYS.... my point is that I totally stand by that you guys waited so long to get married so that you could learn all those ins and outs. And also, still totally miss britney&justin and nick&jess.

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  11. Yes. I hate to drop judgment but I think so many people get married for the wrong reasons. We went to a wedding last summer and the marriage was over in 6 months. They didn't date long but the bride was obsessed with getting married. It was a big show. J and I have dated for almost 8 years and I'm so grateful for that. If we do get married it will be for the right reasons- we love and want to share our lives with one another. There's a commercial from a jewelry store in KY right now that says "don't settle for a small ring! Send him here." I think that's complete garbage. Sorry for the long comment. I love your take on this.

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  12. YES! I agree 100%, divorce is way too quick of an option for a lot of people these days. Movies fail to prepare you for the reality that marriage is hard work, or they make you feel that if it is work something must be wrong. My husband and I will be married for 4 years in October and we've had to work hard to make our relationship as strong and as wonderful as it is! It definitely takes two committed people who are willing to put the work in. I loved this post! XO -Kim
    www.thethirtysomethinglife.com

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  13. As a kid of divorce, I get you. When I say vows, it won;t be an option for me. (I;m not gonna lie, I was a little bummed about Jen and Ben but ya know....it didn't affect my day LOL)

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  14. I was so sad to hear they were divorcing, and I don't even get invested in celebrity relationships. :P It's sad!


    Ben and I are in this for the long haul too. My parents divorced, his parents divorced, the divorcing and new marriages/mixed families have been hard.


    You get out of marriage what you put into it, and working on it is work, but it sure is rewarding.

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  15. I'm sad, but not surprised or obsessing over it. I think the only couple I wish would get back together is Nick and Jessica! I think we live in a celebrity obsessed culture and unfortunately their "news" takes precedence over real news :-P

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  16. I could hug you. You speak my language. Yes...we've been together for a long time. I totally got the "maybe he doesn't want to get married again" after we had been together for 6 years and already discussed marriage. This is Chuck's second marriage so we have had many lengthy discussions on what we both want. Cheating is the only thing that would lead to divorce. I don't condone it, so it won't happen. I think you should wait...if you don't want to get married tomorrow, who cares?! People asked why we waited a year and I said ummmm because I need to pay for this wedding...can't happen overnight. If I'm going to marry the man of my dreams it's going to be just how I want. Love is work, but it's worth it for the right person. You and Robert sound really similar to Chuck and I. Forever missing Brit & Justin and Nick & Jess...forever ever.

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  17. I hear you. I have had SO many friends get married young and I am glad I didn't. There's nothing wrong with it, but so many of them resulted in divorce. I didn't realize you've been with him that long...that's great. Don't be sorry for the long comment. I appreciate hearing everything everyone has to say and love hearing feedback. I'm all for living life to be happy...whether it's getting married, having children, traveling the world or working your butt off...just do what makes YOU smile!

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  18. Thank you so much for your comments Kim, I'm glad you loved the post. I think people run to divorce and it makes me wonder why they got married in the first place. As I plan for my wedding now, I see that all this takes a lot of work and I'm not willing to throw it away easily. You have to choose a love that's worth it. Props to you and your husband to working through those tough times. Xo!

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  19. Thanks Nina. I never want to put anyone through what I went through, it stinks. Cheating is one thing, but all the rest seems to be things couples should work through. I miss Britney and Justin the most...but yea, not losing sleep over it ;)

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  20. I agree it's sad, but so many other people experience it too. It's very sad that it has to happen. I feel as if the new normal is mixed families, break-ups, divorces, etc...it's crazy! I agree that it is very rewarding, even after the hard work. Thank you for reading and commenting...I appreciate it Christy!

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  21. It's crazy...I love my celebrity gossip, but can't believe how many things I read about this one. It made me a little frustrated, as I mentioned in the post. The news isn't always full of positive things, but we need some more real events to hear about rather than this stuff. Thanks for reading friend!

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  22. Yes! I agree with this 100%! There have been many times I've wanted "out", but when I FINALLY got to the place where I was putting my hubs before myself, I realized we could get through anything, and I wanted to!

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