February 19, 2015

You Are Beautiful // Love More. Judge Less.

Judging. It's hard not to do.

When you see someone or something...does your mind go to wonder what the situation is that got them there? Do you think that maybe they look like heck and  their hair isn't in place because it's been a crazy day and they almost ran out of gas and are running late? Or do you immediately think...what the hell is wrong with them?

I hate to admit, but I will. I used to be a negative, jealous and bitter person. I can't blame anyone but myself but I think it had something to do with life circumstances.
Let me explain....

It all started my senior year of high school. My mom was sick with cancer and moved back to Erie to be closer to her parents while she battled chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I was taken from everything I knew to this new place, with new people, and weird things. This sounds absolutely awful, but I was pissed off. I was mad my mom was dying, and I was mad this was happening to me.
I swear my outlook from then on out was just poor and sad.

Things happened in those years to come that made me feel some sort of way. I went to college pretty much unsure of what I wanted to do with my life. I almost failed one whole semester...all I wanted to do was believe my life wasn't real. I wasn't happy and I was spiraling out of control. I started to date a guy who didn't treat me all, and I continued to let it happen.
So what did I do? I was a bitch. I was mean to everyone who had something better than me...whether it was a nicer car, a better grade, or a sweet boyfriend.

About 7 years ago things changed. It didn't happen overnight, but I became a better person. I started a  job in a brand new field that I was extremely nervous about yet discovered I was really good at. I worked my butt off and was doing really well for myself. I was suddenly more outgoing and even got a second job waitressing and was a social butterfly hustling hard. I loved every second of it and it felt really good to be doing things I enjoyed and making things happen. I moved in to my own apartment, bought a new car and really started to feel like myself again.

One of my best friends at the time started getting in to things I wasn't a fan of and we started drifting apart. It was really sad because she had been by my side through a lot of really tough moments and was the first one there for all the good times. When it came down to it we just weren't on the same wavelength anymore and she started tearing me down. I remember the last time I spoke words to her "I wish you nothing but the best. You are unhappy right now and I hope one day you find your happiness again." I didn't bash her or take things out on her, I simply let her go.
I can't tell you how good it felt to stand my ground without being awful to someone.

Around this time I also started dating Chuck. I don't just say this because he's mine, but he is seriously one of the best humans I have ever met. Call this guy at 3 am and ask him to come pick you up in another country and he would hop out of bed and start driving without question. He did it then, and he continues to do it now...he brings out the best in me. Chuck is a postive person and I really believe he was sent to me by my mom.
I needed someone to help bring me back to life. Chuck didn't do it for me, but he was by my side.

I'm not a perfect person, but I am working on being a little better each day. I want to be someone that people want to be around and look to for a smile. Spreading love and sharing happiness are my new favorite things to do rather than passing judgement.

It can be hard in this fast-moving, high-tech, share it with everyone- world we live in to be yourself, and not judge others. If life isn't going the way you planned you may be quick to leash out and bring others down with you. It doesn't have to be that way.
Lift others up. Be supportive. Find your inner peace and share it with a friend.

You Are Beautiful. 
Thank you for always listening. I look forward to reading what you share in this week's link-up. Much love again to my friend Lauren from Lot 48 for embarking on this project with me.

You Are Beautiful


  1. I read this and just wanted to hug you. I am not surprised at your feelings during your senior year - that must have been so tough. But to feel yourself grow emotionally; that's special. You are indeed beautiful!

  2. It's so true that when you are at peace and know your own value and worth, you can so much better extend that grace and love to others! This is a lesson I have had to learn (and continue to learn!) myself.

  3. ohh judgement can be SO hard! I'm glad you're in a much better place now. I can totally get where you were coming from all those years ago though. hearing this, "I wish you nothing but the best. You are unhappy right now and I hope one day you find your happiness again." I probably would've cried! LOL. But like you said, you can't change overnight. it's a process. I'm so happy that you're working to being a better person each day! That makes you beautiful!

  4. I used to be so bitchy, mean and mad at the world. I still struggle with my temper but it's a lot better than it was before! I also want to be someone that people want to hang out with. Thanks for sharing your story!


  5. It really is...once you find that inner happiness it's easier to be a positive person all around. We are always working on ourselves. You're beautiful and I thank you for your constant support my friend, Xo!